As Yet Untitled...

I don't know what it is, but this blog seems to be becoming less and less about mental ill health. The aim of this blog was, of course, to explain some of the misconceptions surrounding mental illness, and by doing so, attempt to dismantle some of the stigma which is still a burden to many. But, as I have gotten better and more time has gone by since my last episode of ill health, my preoccupation with mental illness has abated. Now I find that I've virtually exhausted the subject, at least from my own point of view, so I look around, feverishly trying to think of things to write about. I suppose that this, really, is a good sign (at least for me), as I now look to other areas to spark my interest. You could say that it's just another episode on a journey, a journey which has taken me from being very unwell and almost defined by my own illness, to one who now sees himself as very much his own person once again.
I hope, then, that this blog reflects an ongoing progress (indeed, at one point, I did take to calling my posts "Dave's Progress") and as such, can perhaps be a source of hope for others who may currently be going through a difficult time. I have endeavoured to show that there is light at the end of even the darkest tunnel, and indeed there have been dark times in my past. I think that I've explained just how low I got in some of the posts on this blog, and have examined my recovery from those times with the sometime consternation of one who perhaps wonders just how and why he has recovered so well. I can only say that it's probably been more luck than judgement.
Of course, being well brings with it its own new problems and responsibilities. I think I can perhaps best explain this by referring to the American writer William Burroughs, who, in the introduction to his novel, "Queer", describes the difference between his character William Lee when he takes drugs to when he stops, saying, "Lee on junk is coveted, protected... junk... blunts emotional reactions to the vanishing point... When the cover is removed, everything that has been held in check by junk spills out." I think there is something of a parallel to be drawn between such experiences and the experience of mental ill health. I have come to see my own road though mental ill health as one in which some emotional trauma blunted my own "emotional reactions". Perhaps disturbances in one's psyche are really just some form of escape, just as drugs may be an escape, from a profound hurt; a way of anaesthetising painful emotions. It only follows then, that as one recovers, all that has been held in check by insanity "spills out". Don't get me wrong, I'm not a screaming, emotional wreck, but I do think that "normal" emotions return after such episodes of illness, and it takes a while to get used to them once again.
So, as I go on my new, well path, perhaps, in the words of the national anti-stigma campaign, it's "time to change". Time for something new to reflect the new me. Time, perhaps, to put the past to bed and let the future open up. As for the rest of this blog, although I'm sure mental health will continue to feature in it, let's just say that it's as yet untitled...