My Various Diagnoses, or, I Just Dropped in to See What Condition my Condition Was In.

Those who have read this blog from the beginning will know that I haven't always had a diagnosis of schizophrenia. Indeed, my initial diagnosis, which I received when I first saw a psychiatrist back in 1996, was depression. I was first given Prozac to help with this condition, and later, when that seemed to have had little effect, other than giving me the shakes, a drug called Seroxat, which initially appeared to work, but then precipitated my first manic/psychotic episode. I was then given a diagnosis of bipolar, as it is known that those with the condition can often have an adverse reaction to antidepressants, with them often causing people to go into a manic state. Hence, antidepressants are, as far as I know, rarely prescribed for those with bipolar, precisely because of this effect. Later, when I had had another psychotic episode, I was given a diagnosis of schizo-affective disorder, which basically describes a condition marked by both a disturbance in mood (which can be either depressive or manic) and a schizophrenic type of experience of psychosis. Even later than that, after a further episode of illness, it was as if my psychiatrist finally threw in the towel and came to the conclusion that what I may actually have been suffering from was the dreaded schizophrenia. This diagnosis was actually given in 2005, but if I remember correctly, I was only made aware of it a couple of years later, after I began writing this blog.
So, what to make of all this, other than that it seems I've experienced more or less every aspect of mental ill health? Well, I suppose for one thing, it appears to show how psychiatry can often be a case of, perhaps as it is with other branches of medicine, making educated guesses about what is actually wrong. My particular case seems to have been very complex, and it appears to me that psychiatrists are anyway often loath to diagnose someone with schizophrenia as it is seen as such a serious condition, having not only a great effect on your health, but also far-reaching social implications. The only problem is, that because of such difficulty in getting a diagnosis right, one may find oneself being treated for the wrong condition, in my case for a very long time indeed.
In fact, there still seems to be some doubt about what my condition actually is. The very last time I saw a psychiatrist, some time last year, he even asked me what I thought I might have been suffering from. Did I think it was schizophrenia, or bipolar? "You're an intelligent person", he said, "what do you think it is?" My answer was that I did indeed think that my current diagnosis was correct. After all, I had had many of the symptoms associated with that illness, and always, even from the outset of my problems, a feeling that there was more to my illness than the labels of either depression or mania could encapsulate.
But, there is, of course, another side to all this, and that is that my life may in fact become a little easier were I to have a different diagnosis. While having such a serious condition might work for me in terms of getting benefits (I was once told that I would get Disability Living Allowance for life, without having to go for any assessments), it might work against me now that I'm looking for paid employment. Could it be the case, perhaps, that with a diagnosis of bipolar I would be more likely to be successful in getting work? With many celebrities, most notably Stephen Fry, "coming out" as having bipolar, the stigma surrounding that particular condition seems to me to be less than that surrounding schizophrenia. Indeed, although in the past there have been quite a few notable cases of schizophrenia amongst famous people, in more recent times absolutely none, it appears, have come forward as suffering from the condition. The rates of the incidence of bipolar and schizophrenia are about the same, so why has no celebrity yet admitted that they have had experience of either psychosis or schizophrenic illness? Could it just be that the stigma surrounding these labels is still too great for anyone to risk admitting that they have experience of them?
So, my various diagnoses perhaps show not only that mental illness is rife with complexity, but that stigma might differ between different conditions. Indeed, I have spoken before of the sort of hierarchy of mental illnesses, with schizophrenia seeming always to come out at the top as the most stigmatised. This leaves me in something of a dilema, as having the correct diagnosis is important in getting the right treatment, but getting that diagnosis, if it is schizophrenia, can mean having to cope with more social difficulties. And, with so many different diagnoses at some stage being given to me, can I really be sure that what I have suffered from can be placed under one, single umbrella? Indeed, if my case were to be put into the diagnostic manual, perhaps they'd have to invent a new category for me!