A Day in the Life

First of all, I have to thank all of you who commented on my last blog. The comments were all extremely positive and really gave me a lift. It reminded me that I can be more positive about the issues which are facing me and, indeed, should always be grateful for the support I've had through mindbloggling. So, I am going to start with something positive. This blog will only descend into gut-wrenching negativity later on. Only joking. So, what is this positive thing, you all ask? Well, I have managed to actually lose some weight. If my scales are right it is in the region of around 6lbs. I don't exactly know what I've done to lose this weight, my life-style has hardly dramatically changed, but there it is. Needless to say I am now a little more encouraged that it can actually be done and the weight, if I do it right, may eventually come off. We are looking a long time ahead in the future for that, but it is a goal I now feel I can actually do something about, instead of feeli...

I have been asked recently by the Talkbank Action Group to keep a diary of my so-called "progress". They have told me that this diary will go onto a new blog, but just as a bit of practice I thought I would write something here for all of you out there in blogland . As many of you will know from my previous blogs the illness I have is a chronic, long term one. That is to say it is not curable, but it is treatable. In this way there can be long periods of well-being as well as illness. Indeed, so long as medication is taken there seems to be no need why you cannot live an apparently "normal" existence. However, and it is a big however, medication, whilst being very good at reducing so-called "positive" symptoms (such as hallucinations, delusions and hearing voices), is not always as good at reducing "negative" symptoms of the disease (such as tiredness, lack of motivation and low mood). Indeed, many people put down these negative symptoms to act...

I have been looking over my blog recently and it struck me that there isn't too much on there about me. That is me. That is David. That is I. It mostly seems to be rants about mental health issues. So, this time, as we have been doing personal testimonies of our own experience of mental ill health at the Talkbank group, I thought I would print mine here to give you a chance to get to know exactly how, in the words of the great Talking Heads song, I got here. So, here goes... I was first diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder in 1998. For those of you who don’t know, this basically means that I suffer from the symptoms of both schizophrenia and mood disorder at the same time. It seems I have the best of both worlds! Mine is a chronic condition, episodic in nature, which will require medication probably for the rest of my life. However, there is a long and tortuous story behind this diagnosis, and it is one which begins much earlier than 1998. I first noticed a change in my mood ar...

So here it is, Merry Christmas, everybody's having fun. Or are they? It's obvious that Christmas, amidst all the mindless materialism and wanton celebration, can be a difficult time for many of us. Imparticular those who experience mental ill health. So, I'd just like to say in this very short blog a very Merry Christmas to all at Mindbloggling, particularly those who have taken the time to read and comment on my blog. I know that for many of us, including myself, social isolation can be a big problem, but it is always nice to know that there are some of us out there who can share our experiences and communicate in this way. I truly believe that this can make our lives a little bit more enjoyable and I have certainly enjoyed being a part of mindbloggling. So, for at least this year, that may be all from your average delusional and paranoid man. Oh, please don't be too sad, after all there's always next year and who knows what that might bring. Or, as my old aunt use...

I've been thinking alot recently about how, when we are ill, we are often told by counsellors to concentrate on living in the present- not to get bogged down ruminating about the past or the future. The thing is, one of my passions is reading literature, and literature seems to take a very different view of this. Indeed, it seems to tell us of the need to remember, both in historical and personal terms. The starkest statement about this I found in Jed Rubenfeld's book "The Interpretation of Murder" where, in the very first chapter it states: " There is no mystery to happiness. Unhappy men are all alike. Some wound they suffered long ago, some wish denied, some blow to pride, some kindling spark of love put out by scorn- or even worse, indifference- cleaves to them, or they to it, and so they live each day within a shroud of yesterdays. The happy man does not look back. He doesn't look ahead. He lives in the present. But there's the rub. The present can ne...

Firstly, thanks for your comments once again. The number of them seems to be going down, but I don't take that as any measure of my popularity. I'm just glad that some of you are taking the time to read my blog. And maybe I just have to write more interesting ones! Anyway, having worked some time now (voluntarily) for MAGMH, I would just like to comment on some of the outlandish opinions one comes into contact with when having to deal with the prejudice that surrounds mental ill health. Most recently we have been writing letters in response to the building of a new psychiatric hospital in Cobridge. In the end, I had to write a letter about the residents' responses to this, simply because they were so prejudiced and ignorant. To use a few examples, one resident said, "I'm not happy. It would be a dumping ground. People would be wandering the streets." Another said, "I think it's a good idea to put it (the building) to use, but if its people with menatl...

Firstly, thanks again for your comments on my blog. I certainly hope that you will keep on sending them and I have tried to make as many comments of my own as I can for the time being. As for this new post, I have decided to talk about my absolute worship of Johnny Cash. For those of you who don'k know, Johnny Cash was a country singer who died at a grand old age very recently (only a few years ago) and left behind him some of the greatest songs and lyrics ever written. It was not only his songs, but also his life that was an inspiration to me and many more. I suppose many of you will have seen the film "Walk the Line", which was his biopic. What enthralled me about Cash was his own personal demise into drugs and drink, which seemed to be echoed in his songs. To a large degree his songs were about sin and redemption, and perhaps, given his situation, his own. For while John was wiggling his hips like Elvis he was also dowining drink and amphetamines and being extremely ...