A Day in the Life

I turn 40 in a few days' time, on December 5th, to be precise, and, I have to say, somewhat surprisingly, that I am looking forward to becoming officially middle aged. You could say that even reaching this age for me is an achievement and, indeed, getting here has often proved to be a long and difficult road. My experience of mental illness has meant that I've had to forgo many of the things that many would consider constitute a "normal" existence. Opportunities of work, marriage and children, I think, have all been reduced due to my painful, somewhat arrested, development. And, in a post entitled "Birthday Blues", which I wrote three years ago, I complained of the consequences of my illness, and made the following assessment:   "...as I sit in my comfy chair, is it really so comfortable? What, as I approach the dreaded 40, do I have to look forward to? More free time? More getting bored? More impecuniousness, penury and poverty with no holidays beca...

"They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old: Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn, At the going down of the sun, and in the morning, We will remember them." From "For the Fallen", a poem by Laurence Binyon, a.k.a. the "Ode of Remembrance". On November 11th, 2011, at 11 am, silence fell over all Britain as people remembered those who had given their lives in service of their country. I was one of those who maintained this respectful silence. However, as I did this, I was not filled with pride at the thought of the many who have fought, died or been injured in war. Rather, I thought of what a terrible and tragic waste of life war always brings. And so, as I stood there, I was not wearing a poppy, as, although the poppy is an internationally recognized symbol of remembrance, I feel it also, of late, has been used to glorify that which I find resolutely inglorious. I suppose me and my family have always had a s...

The above words are spoken by the character of Polonius in Shakespeare's play, "Hamlet", and refer to the main protagonist's state of mind, which, although seemingly unbalanced, appears to contain elements of reason. Thus there are doubts expressed throughout the play as to whether the most famous melancholic of them all, Hamlet, is truly mad or simply, as he says himself, putting on an "antic disposition". If Hamlet's madness is genuine, though, it is interesting that it is suffused with apparent significance, which got me wondering whether one can actually find a meaning in madness, particularly in terms of psychotic illness; whether one can, as Karl Jaspers, the German psychiatrist and philosopher, put it, render understandable that which, by definition, is "un-understandable". I suppose that the stereotypical image of the "mad man" is one of someone who babbles incoherently. He is mad precisely because he doesn't make any sen...

As one of my major interests is film, and as the major subject of this blog is mental health, I thought I would try to bring the two together with a little biographical story about the Danish film director and screen writer Lars von Trier. Von Trier started out as a prodigious talent, directing his first film at the age of eleven after receiving a Super-8 camera as a gift, and continued to be involved in independent movie making throughout his high school years. But, perhaps, cinema was an emotional outlet for the young auteur, being raised in a way which has been described as having "complex results for his personality and development". Indeed, while his mother considered herself a communist, his father was a social democrat, and both were committed nudists who regarded the disciplining of children reactionary. They are said to have not allowed much room in their household for "feelings, religion, or enjoyment" and refused to set any clear boundaries for their chi...

Quite recently, me and a friend from the Pathways Group were invited to an informal lunch at the Bennett Centre, our local mental health resource unit. We were invited in order to give a service user perspective on our local mental health services. Amongst the members of staff who attended, there were also two representatives from the West Midlands Quality Review Service. At the meeting, the provision of "crisis" care was discussed and, upon my friend saying that I had something of a story to tell, I was invited to say what had happened in terms of my own care. Unfortunately, I was unable to give a glowing review of my local mental health services. I say unfortunately, because now, having made such a good recovery, I get on well with many members of staff and have a new-found understanding and respect for what they do. It is indeed unfortunate, then, that, in the past, I was on the receiving end of what my then psychiatrist even called, "bad practice". I...

So, this year marks the 100th anniversary of the introduction of the diagnosis of "schizophrenia". According to that ever-abundant source of information, Wikipedia, the term was actually coined by Swiss psychiatrist Eugen Bleuler in 1908. One can only presume, as various mental health charities have marked this year as the 100th anniversary of its usage, that it took a further three years for the term to be used in practice as a diagnostic category. Or is it that Wikipedia have got it wrong. Why, surely that could never be! Eugen Bleuler, psychiatrist and originator of the term, "schizophrenia".  The stigma, fear and discrimination surrounding the term is well-known, and this, to my mind, is due in no small part to sheer semantic confusion. Derived from the Greek words "schizein" (which actually sounds a bit Germanic to my ear), meaning "to split", and "phren", meaning "mind", "schizophrenia" roughly transl...