A Day in the Life

The above title, for those who know and for those who don't, is a play on the title of a Luis Bunuel film called "The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie" ("Le Charme Discret de la Bourgeoisie" in French). It was actually a friend of mine at the Pathways Group who came up with this title, and he was referring to one of my previous blogs in which I wrote about the erotic "charms" of Nigella Lawson. The blog was entitled "That Obscure Object of Desire", named after another Bunuel film. So, you can see the connection which was being made by my friend, suggesting, that far from being an erotic pleasure, the shenanigans of Nigella rather reflected the "charmlessness" of her class. Indeed, looking back on it, one sees that Nigella's programme could be interpreted, with all its show of bourgeois privilege and manners, as mind-achingly, relentlessly, middle-class. As Nigella primps and preens around her perfect kitchen, and invites round ...

I've just been reading a document about the abolition of disability living allowance (DLA), which is to be replaced by a new benefit called Personal Independence Payment in 2013/14. Aside from being a little more than confusing, the document suggests that one thing which is certain about this change in the benefits system is that some who currently receive DLA will lose out, it being the intention of the coalition to cut the cost of DLA by at least 20% through these reforms. So, who exactly will all this affect? It appears that this remains uncertain, although those who currently receive the lower rate of the care component of DLA may be at risk, as this is strongly hinted at in the government's consultation document. It is also possible that people who are unable to walk but who can use a wheelchair will lose their higher rate mobility allowance. Further than that, the document states, it is very hard to guess who may lose out at this stage. "All we can be certain of...

No, I have not, as the title of this blog might suggest, committed some offence and been forced to wear an electronic tag around my leg to make sure I'm in my home at curfew time. Instead, Gary, aka klahanie, my happy, hairy friend, has "tagged" me, which involves me answering a number of questions and then asking four more bloggers to do the same. So, in the spirit that this was intended, I shall endeavour to answer all 19 questions. I sincerely hope you don't get bored.  1. if you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family? Currently, I don't have any pets, but I think I might like one. People who experience mental ill health are often told to get a pet, as it helps them focus on something beyond themselves and encourages responsibility. I, however, seem to have enough trouble looking after myself! But if I did have a pet, I hope I'd treat it as a member of my family. 2. if you can have a dream to come true, what wo...

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine over lunch yesterday, and we both agreed that in some bizarre way both our experiences of mental ill health had been some sort of mixed blessing. I have written before in these pages of how mental illness has been both my nemesis and my saviour, for although when in the throes of illness it was indeed a harrowing experience, I would not, for example, even write this blog or do the voluntary work I so much enjoy were it not for that experience. Not only this, though, makes me think of mental ill heath as an experience which has, in some ways, been "good" for me. Indeed, it is as if I have found a new and invigorated appreciation of life. After being so ill, I can almost not describe the transcendent joy of just, even, waking up in the morning at a "normal" hour and not feeling unwell, and I am reminded of a friend of my mother's, who said that when you reach a certain age, it is almost as if you're grateful ...

"The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven." John Milton, "Paradise Lost". It seems to me that it is often the case with mental ill health that it is very difficult for the sufferer to communicate what is actually happening to them, for it is so often misunderstood even by peers, friends, family and such. I know this was certainly the case with me. My first experience of depression was to find that friends, in particular, were either hostile, or felt I was being self-pitying or self-indulgent. "We all have problems, you know", one might say, or "Well, we all get depressed sometimes, I know I do", might another. What seems to have been missing from their assessment was that I was experiencing the symptoms of a very real and debilitating disease. Indeed, in my first experience of mental illness I felt as if something had just descended on me from a great height, a feeling so alien to my usual feelings ...

You may notice that this posting is in very quick succession to the last one I made. There is no reason for this, other than that I felt I wanted to tell you that from now on, there may be a slight change to the appearance of my blogs. No, I will not be changing the template or adding more "gadgets" (not yet, anyway), but I will no longer be signing off my posts in my usual manner. Yes folks, I have decided to get rid of my usual little farewell, "that's all for now from your normal, average, delusional and paranoid man". I hope this little phrase has provided some entertainment for you and a few laughs, intended, as it was, to be a somewhat ironic comment on the nature of mental ill health. Indeed, it may have become something of a catch-phrase, but like all catch phrases, I feel its presence has begun to wear a little thin. So, as I just entirely forgot to include it in my previous posting, I thought I would continue the trend and begin to omit it altogether....

Yesterday, together with another member of the Pathways Group, I was invited to sit in on the meeting of a steering group brought together to discuss the treatment of psychosis in our local area. The group brought together everyone from a consultant psychiatrist to an outreach worker to a representative from the North Staffs Users Group (an organisation run by service users, i.e patients, which aims to improve mental health services and get the voice of service users heard). As preparation for the meeting, we were sent a document about making mental health services "recovery" oriented. The document, written by a group of psychiatrists from South London and Maudsley and South West London and St.George's NHS trusts, I felt, contained many good ideas about essentially changing mental health services from a strictly clinical practice defined by symptoms, treatment and cure, to a more recovery based one, being about the "social recovery" as well as the clinical reco...

OK, so the title of this post may sound a little bit like a song title, and if it isn't one already, then it should be. But of course I refer to the recent debacle that was Christmas and the New Year. I hope yours went well, because, somewhat surprisingly, mine did. On Christmas day I visited my brother and also saw many of my cousins who I had not seen in quite a long time. It was nice to see them all, having grown now into mature adults, all doing their own thing and making their way in the world; some as teachers, some as burgeoning academics and others who were simply travelling the world and trying to see all they could before being bludgeoned back into their everyday lives. And so it was that at the back of my mind my old friend "status anxiety" began to kick in. My cousins are all younger than me, but despite this seem to have achieved far greater things than I. One, in particular, has virtually travelled the world now, speaks two languages fluently, has written a...